Valentine’s Day, A Day for Love in All Directions
I’m writing this on Valentine’s Day, today, not as a reminder on your calendar, but as a little nudge to the heart.
Valentine’s Day has a reputation.
Some people treat it like a Hallmark holiday, others treat it like a romantic scoreboard, and a few brave souls pretend it is “just another day” while quietly hoping nobody notices they forgot.
But for me, Valentine’s Day is simpler, and deeper.
Today is a day to recognize your life partner, if you have one. It is a day to honor yourself, if you are walking solo right now. It is also a day to love on your children, and your family, the people who make your life feel like home.
Love is not a one lane highway. It is a circle. When we do this day right, we let love flow in every direction, outward, inward, downward through generations, upward through gratitude, and straight into the present moment where life is actually happening.
So here is how I see Valentine’s Day, three components, three expressions of love, one sacred invitation, and it all starts today.
1) Your Life Partner, Choose Them Again Today
If you have a life partner, Valentine’s Day is not about grand gestures.
It is about presence.
It is about looking at the person beside you and remembering, this is not “my spouse,” this is a human being who has lived a whole life, carried joy and pain, grown, changed, evolved, stayed, and kept choosing the relationship even when it was messy, even when it was inconvenient, even when neither of you felt particularly poetic.
Love is not sustained by fireworks. Love is sustained by attention.
So today, slow down long enough to actually see them.
Not the role they play, not the tasks they handle, not the familiar routine version of them, but the real person.
The one with dreams. The one with fears they do not always say out loud. The one who wants to be wanted, not just needed.
Today is a chance to offer a very specific kind of medicine, appreciation with clarity.
Not vague, not generic, not “you’re awesome babe.”
Real appreciation sounds like:
- “I notice how you hold our world together.”
- “I feel safe when you are near me.”
- “I admire the way you keep growing.”
- “I remember when you did that one thing, and it mattered more than you know.”
- “You are still the person I want to come home to.”
If you want to lead with love today, be specific.
Tell them what you love about who they are, not just what they do.
Tell them what you see in them that they may have forgotten about themselves.
Tell them what you are grateful for that has become so normal you stopped naming it.
And if you have been distant lately, if you have been busy, tired, stressed, caught in the grind, today is also a chance to come clean in a gentle way.
You can say, “I miss you,” without making it a fight.
You can say, “I want us,” without needing a full strategic plan.
Sometimes the most romantic thing you can do is turn toward them again.
Not with pressure.
With intention.
Because at the heart of a strong relationship is a decision that keeps getting renewed, I choose you, today too.
2) If You Have No Partner, Honor Yourself Today Without Apology
If you do not have a partner right now, Valentine’s Day can feel like walking through a store where everything is pink and none of it fits.
I get it.
But I want to offer a different lens, this day is not here to punish you, it is here to remind you.
You are not incomplete.
You are not behind.
You are not “less than” because there is no person sitting across from you at a restaurant holding your hand.
This is your day too, today.
And honestly, it might be even more important.
Because it is easy to love yourself when life is giving you what you want.
The deeper work is loving yourself when the timeline does not match your expectations.
This is where the inner warrior shows up, not with brute force, but with steady dignity.
So today, honor yourself in a way that is not fluffy, not performative, not “self care” as an excuse to avoid life.
Real self honor looks like:
- speaking to yourself with respect
- keeping the promises you make to yourself
- choosing what is good for you, even when nobody is watching
- letting yourself feel what you feel without judging it
- celebrating your life as it is, while still holding your vision for what is coming
If you want a simple Valentine’s Day ritual, do this today:
Write yourself a short letter.
Not a long journal entry, just a page.
Start with, “I am proud of you for…”
Then write three things that are true.
Not fantasy, not future, real.
Then write, “I forgive you for…”
One thing you have been carrying.
Then write, “This is what I am choosing next…”
One clean commitment.
Then do something kind for yourself that is aligned with who you are becoming.
A good meal, a long walk, a workout, time in stillness, a coffee and a notebook, anything that says, I matter.
Because you do.
And if you want love in your future, this is not a side quest.
This is the foundation.
The relationship you have with yourself sets the standard for every relationship that follows.
So today, do not shrink, do not hide, do not pretend you do not care.
Stand tall, heart open, and treat yourself like someone worthy of love, because you are.
3) Your Children and Family, Make Love Land Today
Valentine’s Day is also a day for your kids and your family, today.
I am going to say something that might sound obvious, but it is easy to forget.
Your kids do not need perfection.
They need presence.
They need evidence.
They need to hear the words, and feel the truth behind the words.
Love is not assumed by children, it is learned through repetition.
And yes, I am talking to the men too.
Especially the men.
Because we can be amazing providers and still leave emotional gaps.
We can think, “They know I love them,” while not actually saying it.
We can think our job is to be tough, when what they are starving for is tenderness.
So today, make love visible.
A note.
A small gift.
A favorite treat.
A one on one moment.
A hug that lasts two seconds longer than normal.
A simple sentence that becomes a memory, “I love you, and I am proud of you.”
And it is not just kids.
Family matters too.
Parents, siblings, chosen family, close friends who feel like blood.
Today can be a reminder to reach out.
Send the text.
Make the call.
Say, “I’m thinking of you,” without waiting for a crisis.
Because one of the sneakiest tragedies of adulthood is how love can become silent.
Everybody assumes everybody knows, until suddenly there is a funeral and we are standing there wishing we had said more.
So say it now, today.
Love is not weak.
Love is brave.
And when you love your kids well, when you love your family well, you are not just being nice.
You are building legacy.
You are shaping how love will be expressed in the next generation.
That is sacred work.
Closing, The Real Point of Today
If you take anything from this, let it be this.
Valentine’s Day is not about proving anything.
It is about practicing love.
Love toward your partner, love toward yourself, love toward your children and family.
Not as a performance.
As a decision.
As a way of living.
So wherever you are today, in a relationship, single, surrounded by family, feeling lonely, feeling grateful, feeling a mix of everything, let today be a reset.
A return.
A moment where you come back to what matters.
And if you want a simple challenge, here it is, do it today.
Before the day ends, say “I love you” to someone who needs to hear it.
And say it like you mean it.
Even if your voice cracks a little.
Especially if your voice cracks a little.
That is how you know your heart is in the room.
Happy Valentine’s Day.
