This past Sunday as I was pulling laundry from the washing machine and loading it into the dryer (throwing it to be precise, as I was playing hoops with the clothes, seeing if I could get it into the dryer in one shot) when I was struck by this thought/notion. Or rather this question arose in me, “Do I really matter?”
And the answer came to me as a sort of… I hope and trust that I matter to my family and my friends… And yes, most if not all would all come to my funeral if something untimely was to happen to me. They even may say a few kind words about my life. . . Though, they may not be too happy and have any kind words for me when they realize where and how I want my ashes scattered. . . (Side note: It involves a mountain bike ride that I have nicknamed the ride from hell)
But would I really matter? That question stayed with me for the rest of the day and the better part of today?
I realize that I do matter right here and now. But would my life matter to others in 20 years from now? That’s stirred a whole bunch of questions and thoughts regarding my own EGO and self worth. e.g. who am I and what do I have to offer the world?
Yesterday afternoon this quote leapt out front and center in my mind. “The cost of the life of your dreams is the life you are living”. I tossed this quote around in my head numerous times, “The cost of the life of your dreams is the life you are living, the cost of the life of your dreams is the life you are living”. Ever so slowly my brain rolled this over to, What have I given up or sacrificed to live this current life I am living?
I received a huge slap to the face this morning when I realized my answers, actually two answers appeared; money and freedom.
Tina and I gave up our “freedom” to pursue the dream of bringing more Purpose, Passion and Play into people’s lives instead of using our FREEDOM as a means to bring people more Purpose, Passion and Play. Big slap to the side of my head.
I realized this, this morning subconsciously I bought into whole the idea / concept that as spiritual people we needed to be poor. (Big punch to my stomach) Our net worth prior to starting Best U Can B was in excess of 1 million dollars, sadly it is nowhere near that now. The reality is I don’t have to be poor.
So after spending 5 minutes of hysterical self realization laughter at myself, I composed myself and went. Hmm all is good! I realized I already had all the necessary tools in my tool box to fix this mess….
There are no accidents in life…